11
Oh, God, I can’t believe it! I’m so pathetic :( I saw it coming, I knew it! But let’s go back in time. I spent the whole week at home, it was so relaxing and it filled me up so much. I don’t think that this feeling of freedom will come back soon. Hope it will. I didn’t do anything worth to mention, layed in bed, using my computer. I didn’t even open a book or something. I started to spend several hours of my time in Plázs, we’re having so much fun there! On Thursday I supposed to go to school, but I just didn’t feel like it, so I decided to visit my best classmate, checking homeworks and stuff,then I headed to the doctor’s again, then to get ready for a freaky afternoon with my girls. We went to Plázs of course, then to McDonald’s. We were talking about something funny when someone caught my eye. NO WAY! “My” boy was coming with his also hot roommate. I couldn’t believe it, I missed him so bad and I just couldn’t believe that he’s here. We ate, then we stopped outside of Plázs. They showed us pictures, unfortunately I couldn’t even see any of them. They must have been funny. This whole time he was so strange, he barely talked or looked at me. I was on my way to freak out, but I had to keep myself together. Then we said goodbye, and I laid my head down on my pillow alone again. I couldn’t sleep. I woke up at about 1 am, and said to myself that if it’s not 2 o’clock yet, I’m getting out of bed and do something tiring. I was just about to call up some of my friends, if there’s any chance for me to get to Budapest, and have a party @ Dokk Cafe, but I chased away the thought of it and decided to go to sleep at 4 am. Finally. The next day I woke up kinda early, coz I decided to go back to school,but just for the big recess. I rushed to the cafeteria, coz my girl had school practise there. Lucky me. I sat down at the same table where “my” boy’s roommate was. Ha had a 5some table just for himself. I sat down right in front of him. We had a great chat, I was complaining about my bad night, and the way how I wanted to get away somewhere, when his eyes popped out and said: We wanted to go to Dokk Cafe too, but we changed our minds. Oh S*it! I couldn’t believe what I heard! Whatever. I went home and asked “my” boy on MSN, if this is true, and he said, hell yes, we wanted to go, you should’ve tell me that you wanna come too. I asked him if he’s coming to this R’n’B party tonight, and he said yes. I was a bit happy that I knew that I’m gonna see him. The afternoon passed a bit slowly then I started to get ready. I went round to my girl’s place, we drank,then headed to the bus station. We usually go to these parties by bus coz it’s fun! We greeted some friends, then went down next to the lake. After a while we went inside. I wasn’t totally sober. I greeted friends agan, started to dance and a few hours after I became a member of a dance contest. An ipod was the prize. I didn’t win but I had so much fun with my girls. And that’s when I saw there “my” boy. He didn’t even pay attention to me, he didn’t even say hello. I was so upset. I tried to do not care about it but I couldn’t. Then I saw him going home with an other girl. I shocked, I was so mad, though I shouldn’t have been. I’m an idiot. Yeah, I know by now. At 3 am I called my father to pick me up, coz I couldn’t take this whole condition, I was freezing, my legs were shaking. It was the best for me to go home. Thoughts were messing with my head, I couldn’t sleep, then I gave in. I woke up a few hours later, and I’m still awake. I went to Plázs with my father, we spent there a little time, then I came home, studying, chatting and stuff. I was in a hope that “my” boy’ll call me up or something. I don’t know. I’m not use to being rejected, coz that’s how I feel right now. Though I know that I’m completely wrong about this. I only want him now coz he doesn’t want me. And this is wrong. “Treat ‘em like dirt, they’ll stick forever to the bottom of your shoe…” Today is “our first anniversary”… We met just exactly a year ago. Should’ve never let him enter my life. There’ll always be girls who agree to join him for the night, and now I’m like, I don’t give a s*it, if that what he wants, okay, I’ll deal with it. Today I gotta learn a lot. We’re going to Plázs today to, I’ll try to plead my girl to call up these s*ckers to join us. Sometimes I think that it would be better for me to choose “the roommate”. He’s so intelligent, and he always seems to really care when we’re talking. I don’t know. Wondering what’s coming again. We’ll see. I’m tired. Think I’mma go to sleep. Thanks for checking in. See you guys later!
xo
